What Are The Chances?
by AshlandxBabe
Summary: This is my new story, What Are The Chances. It involves a VERY unlikely marriage, a new girl and Nair, find out if you read, if not, your missing out.
1. Chapter 1

It was the first day of school, four Junior boys were waiting by the traditional bus stop.

One boy was a tad on the chunkier side, it was said he'd lost most of the weight as he grew taller, but the boys at his school still ripped on him, as he did to them. He wore baggy denim jeans that showed off the top of his boxers, a red long sleeved shirt pushed up to his elbows with a gray T-shirt over it. His hair was messy and nor did he give a damn. His name, is Eric Cartman.

One of the rather skinny looking boys with shaggy blonde hair and striking blue eyes wore black back jeans with two long chains hanging from the belt, one longer than the other. One hole at each knee of each pant leg and an orange sweatshirt that hung off him loosely, with black fur lining. he also sported a lip piecing on the left lower lip, a black hoop. He family used to be very poor, so poor they'd eat frozen waffles. But, his father and mother got a job now that the kids are in High School, so now, they moved into a four bedroom two bath house and they get by very well. His name, is Kenny McCormick.

The next boy over was one of the smartest. He was on the honor role, he was a straight A student. He has fiery red curly hair, he was Jewish so naturally it was going to be VERY curly. But over the years it fell into the category of wavy and lost it's curl. He didn't mind. He wore a yellow sweatshirt with the words 'Last Chance To Lose Control' on it, he wore a green blazer over the yellow sweatshirt and had the hood out, he also sported blue jeans with a gold chain from the belt. He had a gold hood in his left ear and has his Ipod on him at all times. His name, is Kyle Broflovski.

The last kid has crystal blue, almost white eyes with black layered hair longer in the front so it fell over his right eyes slightly. He wore a black T-shirt with a white circle, ex's for eyes and a straight line for a mouth with a halfed oval tongue hanging out, under a black zip up hodie that was only zipped half way, his hood was always half on. He wore dark baggy jeans that showed his boxers. He was classified as a "Punk" or a "Goth" but he didn't believe in labels. He left eyebrow was also pierced. His name, is Stan Marsh.

These four boys have been friends for 16-17 years. They always have adventures, but can they handle what's about to come next?

Find out by reading on in the next chapter of "What are the chances.."


	2. Chapter 2

Stan, Kyle and Kenny were at Code Red, the new pizza joint in tow. It was a pretty sweet set up, they had tall chairs that looked like race car seats, a flat scene TV where they showed music video's, and whole sitting area.

"Can you believe Cartman's mom is getting married? I can't" Kyle brought up, the subject was truly un unethical. Kenny just shook his head and continued to watch dancing girl in the TV.

Stan nodded, "she's always been such a god damned whore, it's so fuckin' weird." then took a drink of his soda.

Just then, Bebe, Wendy and Red came over to them, Kenny was always drawn to Bebe because of how she looked. She was blonde porn star curls, skinny, had big boobs and wore reveling clothes. He only liked he because he was so in love with porn.

"Hiya boys," Bebe said in a sickly sweet tone. "what'cha doin'?" she sat next to Kenny, Red sat by Kyle and Wendy attempted to sit on Stan's lap, but he pushed her off and moved to another seat. This pissed her off a little, she took his previous seat.

Kyle kinda hated them, and it took a lot for him to hate someone, Cartman was a exception, he didn't hate him as much as it was fun to fight with him. But theses girls-man, there whores. Worse then Cartman's mom. Speaking of Cartman, he'd been gone for 5 days now, that was odd. Normally he'd rub it in their faces of how he gets to stay home or some shit. Kyle sent a quick text to Stan and Kenny. "let's get outta here dudes" is what it was. Both boys nodded and all three got up and walked out. The girls were to distracted with the carbohydrates in the pizza to notice, they didn't want to get fat!

Stan, Kyle and Kenny all walked towards the South Park Skate Park, in other words, SPSP or SPx2. The owner was Kenny's brother Kevin, he was 4 years older than Kenny and the gang, which made him 22. They always skated for free which was awesome. They strolled into the park and Kevin was yelling at some freshmen kids, the boys smirked and went to pick out their boards.

"hey guys, did you notice that it's been quiet lately? Like, there's not bitching, complaining,, constant cussing, or ripping on Jews." Kyle looked around as he spoke, almost as if it were absent mindedly. Stan glanced at Kenny who was looking over his brother Hustler magazine. Stan shook his head. "yeah, it's been quiet. I wonder where fatass is." Stan jogged towards the bowl and dropped in and started skating.

-In Denver-

Eric was having the worst time ever. His new "dad" was a stuck up asshole. He was an accountant at the North Park Bank. Ew. Who in their right mind would want to work with numbers? It confused him. He had met one cool kid named Edger O'Brien. He was Scottish and the whitest mother fucker he'd ever seen in his life! He kinda reminded him of the Goth Kids, or maybe even Stan. He called him Eddy. Eddy was 15, he was a smoker and a drink. Apparently he was going to be his new cousin. Eric didn't mind that.

He and Eddy sat on the back porch talking about random shit for hours, they must have smoked at least 3 packs of cigarettes. Surprisingly he'd like these brand, the kind Kenny and Stan get are nasty.

-6 hours later-  
Eric was In his tux standing next to Eddy. Eric's tux was traditional. Eddy's tux, well, it has a My Chemical Romance, or Green Day feel about it. All black with a red tie. He pulled it off though. The wedding was in thirty minuets. He decided to go see his mother.  
He strolled up to the room she was in casually with his hands jammed in his pockets. He knocked softly, then waited. He heard a soft voice from inside mumble 'come in'. so he did. When he walked in he saw his mother having trouble with the back zipper of the dress, he couldn't help but smile. He'd never seen her so happy before, and honestly, it made him happy. He loved his mother with all of the little heart that he had.  
He smiled and walked over and kissed her cheek, which was something he rarely did, and zipped up the dress. Liane looked back at her son, she thought he looked very handsome. She smiled, "My my, Eric you look lovely." she hugged him. He'd grown up so much. He hugged her back, he was a lot taller then her now. "you look beautiful mom. Tom's only luck y son'ova bi-" he was interrupted by his mother slapping his arm. "Eric!" she scolded. Eric shrugged and pushes a loose strand of hair from her face.

"I think that if he doesn't like it, I'll blind him so I have eternal rights to say that he IS blind." he smirked and put the diamond necklace around his mother neck as she smiled and shook her head.

"your such a bad influence Eric." Eric shrugged. It wasn't NOT true.

A half an hour later, Liane was now Liane Sturm. He was a German man, his last name meant storm. They couldn't be happier, but there was a secret Tom was keeping from her, a big one.

They were on their way home. Eric was sleeping in the back while Tom drove and laced finger with his new bride. The whole way home they'd talk lovey dovey to each other, sometimes sneak a kiss. Eric ignored it, he knew this is how it'd be for the next couple months. He planned to spend as much time away from home as he could, maybe hang with the guys.  
They arrived in south park at midnight the day, he knew because it was a Friday that the guys were at Club Blood. The "hip" new joint. He went up stairs, changed into something nice and waited for a few minuets. His mom and tom had just went to bed, he grabbed the car keys and locked the front door behind him. He got in the car and started to drive.  
It was quiet in South Park tonight. Odd. He turned on his radio and put in his new Nine Inch Nails CD and turned it to track four; Closer.

You let me violate you  
You let me desecrate you  
You let me penetrate you  
You let me complicate you

He tapped his thumb on the steering wheel to the beat. He liked this song, the thought it was funny.

Help me I broke apart my insides  
Help me I've got no soul to sell  
Help me the only thing that works for me  
Help me get away from myself

Now he was singing, the music was so loud it might have woken people. the speakers boomed as he speed down the street

I wanna fuck you like an animal  
I wanna feel you from the inside  
I wanna fuck you like an animal  
My whole existence is flawed  
You get me closer to god

You can have my isolation  
You can have the hate that it brings  
You can have my absence of faith  
You can have my everything

Help me tear down my reason  
Help me its' your sex I can smell  
Help me you make me perfect  
Help me become somebody else

I wanna fuck you like an animal  
I wanna feel you from the inside  
I wanna fuck you like an animal  
My whole existence is flawed  
You get me closer to god

He had really gotten into it, head bangin' the whole works. He parked his car and got out and strolled inside, he spotted his friend right away, mostly Kenny with the bright orange.  
He walked over and sat down. All three boys looked at him. "Dude, where have you been?"  
Eric looked at them with an emotionless face. "my mom got married." Kyle raised and eyebrow.

"I thought that wasn't until 3 more months."

"so did I, Tom's such a stiff. I swear he's so up tight he squeaks." Kenny laughed slightly, then looked from Bebe and Wendy dancing with each other, to him. "that's what your mom said." Kenny smirked, Stan tried not to laugh and Kyle chuckled. "Shut up Kenny!" Eric was already pissed, he didn't need some gay mango to make it worse. Eric over as Clyde and Craig were running up to them. "dude, you have to see this!" Craig told them. "she's amazing!" he finished. "and he's so fine." Clyde added.  
Kenny looked at them, "who's fine? And what is she amazing at?" he questioned. Clyde and Craig pointed to the dance floor, there was a girl with short black hair, her skin was pale while her lips where shaded dark with brown lip stick, she wore and blue tank top with tan plaid and black over shirt that was a bit baggy, black skinny jeans that showed alot of tummy skin and if you looked closly you could see her belly ring. She had a big crystal around her neck that made her also crystal blue eyes pop. To top it off silver flats? Damn. She was truly gorges.

Kenny smirked while Clyde and Craig stared. Eric eyed her. She was dancing dirty with a few guys around to watch and smirk, to be more specific, Token, Butters, Cristophe and Tweek. Although butters was dating Tweek, he liked learning new moves. Token had never seen a white women dance like a black girl, he was very impressed. Cristophe, well lets just say he was forming a plan in his own little British mind. All of a sudden , Tambourine by Eve ft. Swizz Beats started playing, all the girls started dancing to is. But not this particular girl, she left the floor and went outside. Cristophe followed her. Eric watched closely. He didn't like this. Not one little bit. You see, Cristophe had a tendency to take things when he wanted them. No questions asked. He'd keep an eye out just incase.

Cristophe went outside, he saw her leaning on a wall smoking. He smirked, went over to her and took the cigarette. "someone as pretty as you shouldn't be smoking" he said with a cocky smirk, took a drag and blew it in her face. She coughed and waved a hand in front of her face. "Is that so? And who are you to tell me what I shouldn't and shouldn't do?" she crossed her arms as he put a hand be her head and leaned on it. "I'm Cristophe" he took her hand and kissed the back of it, earning a small blush from the girl. " I'm Aryana." just then she took her cigarette back and took a drag, held it in for a few seconds, then blew it out her nostrils. Cristophe thought that was the sexiest thing in the world. He leaned in a little and reached for the cigarette, but she pulled it away and held it above her head. She wasn't going to make this easy on him what-so-ever. He growled and wrapped and arm around her waist and reached for it once more, she moved it again. Ok now he was getting pissed. He pushes his leg between hers, pinning her pelvis to the hard wall, grabbed her wrists and pinned them as well and stared at her with a dangerous yet distant look. Then it happened. The cigarette seemed to fall tot eh ground in slow motion, the second it hit, they found themselves lost in a very hot and wild make out session.

Eric was very uneasy. He kept fidgeting. He was so mad, he didn't even know the stupid bitch and he was all worked up over this! Finally he couldn't take it anymore and slammed his fist hard onto the table. "Damn it!" all three boys looked at him. "dude you ok?" Stan asked, with some concern in his voice. "that girl…she went with the fuckin' mole." he looked up at them, his face emotionless but his eyes were full of anger. This was defiantly not good. Kyle didn't know why he cared, Cartman NEVER cared. Kenny looked back and forth through each boy. "this isn't good. Remember what happened last time when we had to save that girl? Cartman got in a fight and it took us three plus Craig's group to pull them apart." Eric smirked evilly. "that was fun" the boys smirked a bit and shook their head. Kyle thought about it. "she hasn't screamed yet, so she's probably ok." Kyle spoke then took a sip of beer that the club served. Eric sighed. "yeah. But still." he leaned back and looked at the ceiling. This was so confusing.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day at school, the boys were all sitting in the cafeteria at a table discussing last night.  
Eric was still very uneasy about it, he'd gone out there about fifteen minuets after he disgusted it with his friends and they were no where to be found. Now he was curious.

"Cartman, ever since last night you've been acting….weird." Kenny said eyeing him like he was had just dropped his weight down to one-hundred and fifty pounds. It was rather odd for Cartman to be acting like this, especially over a girl he didn't even know, but then again, it was Cristophe.  
Cartman didn't speak, his leg just bounced, his fingers tapped again the hard, wood table, he eyes danced around the room suspiciously, he was nervous. Stan and Kyle glances at each other, their expression clearly read 'what the hell?'. all of a sudden, Cartman froze, his eyes widened and his mouth dropped slightly.  
There she was in all her glory walking through the cafeteria, she was in low rise light blue skinnies, black and white converses, and a black T-shirt with 'Be glad I'm wearing a shirt.' written in white letters, her hair was wavy and down, her make up was applied dark around her eyes and she wore fake lashes to accentuate them more. She was walking to the line to get her breakfast.  
Stan reached over and snapped his fingers in front of Eric's face. "Hey Fatass!" he sat back down. Eric shook his head and looked at them. "that's her." the three boys looked over at the line. It was her. "Damn. She might even be hotter than Bebe." Kenny said with a smirk. Eric looked over at him and raises an eyebrow.

"I thought you liked preppies?"

"I do but there's just something about her that's just….damn." Kenny couldn't take his eyes of her. Kyle had to agree, as well as Stan. There were a lot of pretty girls at the school, but she just stood out.

"Yeah well." It made him mad how they were talking about her and it pissed him off cause he had no fuckin' clue why! He just knew that he felt very protective over her when someone talked about her. And it only got worse.  
She was standing in line with one ear bud in her ear, nodding her head a little. She was carries two binders. He saw Cristophe walk up to her and wrap an arm around her next. His blood boiled. How dare he touch her? What was she to him? Cristophe was just talking to her, so it wasn't as bad. But what did they do last night? Why was she letting him touch her? Did she NOT know what he was capable of, how he could hurt her? Well Eric sure as hell wasn't going to stand around and let it happen.  
He got up, earning looks of curiosity from his friends, and started over there. Cristophe has this, sadistic smirk on his face; she didn't seem to mind. She actually looked like she was enjoying herself.  
Eric walked up to them, earning two good dirty looks. Cristophe was the first to speak. "What the fuck do you want fatty?" still smirking. The girl just looked at him. He glanced down at her, "I was two things, one, I want to know your name" his full attention was on her now. He waited. "Ary-" she was interrupted by the man that was hanging over her. "She doesn't have to answer to you. " Cristophe glared at him. Eric just brushed it off like it meant nothing. "What was that sweetie, I seemed to have a little pest control problem" *he wedged himself between 'Ze Mole' and this, girl.  
"My name is Aryana."  
Eric smiled. "I'm Eric Cartman."  
Aryana's eye widened. "Your Eric!? Your Liane's son?" This was to weird. People were staring to stare now. Eric nodded. "Is that bad?" he asked, all she did was smirk. "obviously Tom didn't tell you yet did he?" He did NOT like that smirk, what was she up to? What was it that his new step father forgot to mention? "Tell me what?" Aryana just laughed and turned, she looked at him over were shoulder with a devilish grin. "Only the most important factor of their marriage, Your no longer an only child my dear Eric," She paused and glanced at Cristophe who was at her side in an instant with the same smirk. "Meet your new sister Fatass, She's one hell' ova ride" with that, they both smirked and walked off leaving Cartman confused, angry and ready to kill. He walked back to the table and looked at each boy slowly, sat down and laid his head on the table. "you aight man?" Kenny asked.  
"No-She's my fuckin' step sister guys," he picked up his head and looked at them. "What the hell am I going to do?" all three boys were shocked as hell. "She's Tom's daughter? And she's with….HIM" Kyle asked, thought the last word was said in key time. All four were against ANY girl being with him. He was very bad news. "Now I know why I felt so protective over her…..that's so weird." They all thought so, but the question was, how were they going to get her out of the arms on the damned mole? If she couldn't see it now, then would she ever?  
All of a sudden Kenny realized something. "He's already got her…" they all looked at him. "He said and I quote, 'She's one hell' ova ride' which either means they had sex, or they fooled around. She's already under his spell Cartman, there's nothing we can do."  
They all thought about it for a second, he was right. If you thought hard enough, They were outside. Then they were gone. It's only logical. But there was an advantage Eric had that the three boys and ever Cristophe didn't. Her dad, was married to his mom. His mom would do ANYTHING he wanted and that means that he could get her to talk to Tom. Yeah, that could work. Eric smirked to himself. "Your right Kenny, there's nothing YOU can do. But as for me, her father is married to my mother, he's an accountant. Chances are that he's straight with her from the way she acts and dresses. It's that whole "rebel" phase. I'll get him away from her, but for now, let's just watch."  
All four boys looked over at the outside bench, Aryana was leaning again Cristophe. They were sharing her Ipod and talking. It was a truly disgusting sight.

-After School-

Eric couldn't wait, he wanted to see the sheer horror on Tom's face when he told him mother. It was the thing he thrived on. He had token the car to school that day, he had just dropped Stan and Kyle off at Kenny's place, He had to promise that he'd be there soon afterwards. This was a bit more important.  
He stopped at a red light. Suddenly he got an idea, a good one at that. What if he was to spy on them and get proof. What if she was exactly like him and knew how to manipulate her father? Then he was fucked. He needed proof.  
The light turned green. The second he looked up he pushed his foot to the petal and speed forward. A ways up, he slammed on the breaks and spun the car to do a quick U-turn and speed down the other lane. He speed up to 90 mph and hit the free way. He dialed Kenny and places the phone between his shoulder and ear.

"Hello?"

"Kenny, you Stan and Kyle meet me at Cristophe's ok? I have a plan."

"What's the plan?"

"I have to get proof just incase it backfires. I'm almost there, I can almost be absolutely positive that she's there to."

"Alright, I'll take my dad's old Jeep. Even though I hate that car!"

"Quit your bitchin' and get goin'" with that he hung up and parked his car a few houses away, turned it off and sat there. 'Time to play the game, my way' he thought. He got out of the car and went over to Cristophe's window and sat underneath it and waited for the guys to show up. He could hear the sounds of two people making out, most likely Cristophe and Aryana. Stan, Kyle and Kenny ran up and ducked under the window. Kenny was looking up. "Wow, she barely knows the dude." he said in a hush tone. Stan looked at him. "not as bad as when I walked in on you and Bebe." Kenny just smirked. "that's different." Kyle raises an eyebrow. "how's that?" Kenny looked at him. "Bebe's a whore." They all nodded. It was true.  
The sounds turned into soft moans, the bed started to squeak lightly. Eric looked up and pulled out his phone and skimmed through it. "What are you doing?" Kenny asked. "I'm getting blackmail." he raised his phone above the windowsill and pressed ok, then pulled the phone down and looked at it. "Whoa.." Kenny, of course, was the first to speak. Stan raises both eyebrows. "So she's dominant, so what? Delete it now" Eric shook his head no. "Not yet" he whispered something in Kenny's ear. Kenny smirked which was never good. Eric got up and went to his car and left. Kenny pulled out his phone and started recording their actions. The squeaking became fast, the noises were louder, And Eric had an evil plan. Stan looked at Kyle. "Want to go get a beer?" Kyle nodded and they both got up and left, leaving Kenny to his recordings.


End file.
